And the award goes to....American Hustle

My husband and I decided to see American Hustle tonight.  We planned on either that or Anchorman 2, but went with American Hustle since it was barely earlier and more of what I was in the mood for.  Lately, we haven't been able to get time away from our kids so we wanted to make the most of it.  Our youngest is sick with a viral infection known as RSV.  It's like a cold, but mostly just for babies.  It sucks.  He isn't sleeping well, he's unusually fussy, and his poor nose is all snotty.  Worst of all is his terrible cough.  He gets so red in the face and starts wheezing if you don't clear his nose out.  He's been to the doctor so we know that the only real thing we can do is use a saline spray and give him baby Tylenol if his temperature gets too high.  That and wait it out.  Seriously, there is almost nothing more pathetic than a sick baby.

Anyway, back to my original point.  This film is different than you might expect.  The characters are impressively well-acted and the writing turns out to not be so much writing as improvisation and it's also impressive.  Christian Bale is so much better than a lot of people probably realize.  Anyone remember a little movie called American Psycho?  Yeah, that's right, Batman used to be a serial killer.  Seriously, it's easy for the better roles to be overshadowed by the more publicized cheesy roles.  Don't get me wrong, I love the Batman movies.  I don't even mind Christian Bale's Batman voice.  Kevin Conroy, from the animated series did the same sort of thing, creating a separate sound for Batman versus Bruce Wayne.  That's right, Superman, Bruce uses more than glasses and a cheap suit to disguise his alter ego.  

But seriously, Christian Bale is incredibly talented.  Jeremy Renner doesn't look like Jeremy Renner and even Robert De Niro looks dissimilar to Robert De Niro as we know him (although he plays someone intimidating, which is just like De Niro).  Bradley Cooper is one of the only people that comes off much like his other roles, most notably Silver Linings Playbook.  

You know who was a surprise, Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence.  Every time I see Jennifer Lawrence in a movie, I think the same thing.  She is Katniss.  She is seventeen.  Then we saw her in Winter's Bone.  Her character is tough as nails, rough, yet protective of those she loves.  Sounds like Hunger Games, right?  Still, she is really good in Winter's Bone and proves she can make you believe she is someone other than Katniss.  When I saw she was in Silver Linings, I kept thinking, no way, she's seventeen, and then I saw the movie and she was completely believable as her character.  She really commits to her roles.  You wonder at the end of her movies if it's really the same girl that was in Hunger Games.  American Hustle is a lot like that.  When you see who her character is and how she relates to the others, you think, Jennifer Lawrence?  Really?  The answer is yes.

Amy Adams.  We see her in Enchanted and Muppets and think that's all she is.  Song and dance, which she's really good at by the way.  When she was cast as Lois Lane in Man of Steel, I thought that was perfect.  Somehow it made sense.  Seeing her in the movie proved that to be true.  But this, this was acting.  Her character is alluring, charming, smart, and broken.  I really wanted her to save herself.  I was just so sad for her.  I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say that I came to see Amy Adams in a new light.  I always liked her, but now I can really respect her acting as well as her singing and dancing.  It was nice seeing her less made up, less pretty.  Good for her.

Christmas Eve

Here we are watching Modern Family, relaxing after getting Christmas ready.  Kids are in bed asleep (even the babe), Santa has come and gone, stockings are stuffed, cookies have been eaten.  This has been a good, comfortable Christmas Eve.  Most of the time, I haven't had time to wrap anything because I've been working from Black Friday on, but not this year.  This year I worked the day before Christmas Eve.  NOT Christmas Eve.  This is the first year I've been completely off from Christmas Eve since my daughter was born six years ago.  SIX YEARS.  I know it's silly to complain, but nothing kills your holiday spirit like working retail.  I have kids.  I'd like to appreciate them during the holidays.  This year is that year.  I even wrapped some stuff ahead of time and shared tasks with my husband.  Amazing, right?  Yeah, I know.

Stockings hung by the chimney with care

We are celebrating our first Christmas in our new house and I'm over the moon about it.  I'm in my living room, TV on, baby asleep on dad, wine glass emptied, and I'm looking at our new Christmas tree.  Six feet tall, white, pre-lit (which apparently means someone twisted lights around every set of branches), with ornaments spread out haphazardly.  You can tell what sections my daughter did because there are ornaments clumped on top of each other, including candy canes.  This is the most chaotic tree I have ever had and I LOVE it.

The other exciting thing about our Christmas tree is that we actually have one.  I got to use ornaments that have never been opened before because I didn't have a tree to put them on, nor a place to put a tree to put ornaments on.  Let me take you through the last few Christmases I've had.

The year is 2005 and I'm living at my boyfriend's during my senior year of high school.  I don't remember a tree, but if there was one, I damn-sure had nothing to do with it.

2006- College.  My parents had a tree that they put up while I was at school.  Side note: My dad died a month later.

2007- My new husband's father's house.  The first live tree I have ever lived with.  It is so beautiful, next to an active wood-burning fireplace with stockings hung on the mantle.  Presents are settled on the floor beneath the tree, just waiting to be opened on Christmas Day.  My newborn daughter has just come home from the hospital two weeks prior after spending two weeks in the hospital from being born prematurely.  We watch A Christmas Story and eat eggs over easy that my amazing first father-in-law has cooked. Side note: He died nine months later.

2008- Staying with my mother during my separation from my husband.  I was a store manager then so I doubt I helped with the tree since I was busy selling Christmas presents.  Retail....

2009- I'm in my own apartment, but spending all my time at my crazy then-boyfriend's house.  His family comes down from New York.  We end up going there at some point as well.  His mother and stepdad are super sweet and everything is perfect, except him.  His Christmas tree is all his decision, just like everything in our relationship (except our break-up, BAZINGA!).

2010- Back at my mom's?

2011- First Christmas with my new husband.  We're expecting our first child together in April.  We get a two foot tree and stick it in a tiny box instead of a fake pot.  It's still in that tiny box, with the lights and ornaments we selected to put on it, currently occupying our mantle.

2012- Christmas at my in-laws because we were waiting to hear back about our short sale home purchase.  Very cozy with our daughter and six-month-old son, but no tree of our own.

2013- THE YEAR OF THE TREE!!!!!!!!!  Oh, and stockings that I hung on the mantle...

Looking back

I was reading through my old posts and realized that I never wrote anything about the birth of my last son.  Leading up to his birth, I was extremely uncomfortable until I stopped working during my 36th week.  Some people are reading this thinking, "I worked up until 39/40 weeks".  Well, I learned from my first child that you cannot guarantee when your child will come.

My daughter was born between 35 and 36 weeks.  Thankfully, I had taken off work really early.  Truthfully, it was earlier than I needed, but it allowed me to be home when my water broke at 6:30 pm without any warning.  I had to be induced at 11:30 pm after hours with no real contractions.  My daughter couldn't breathe well and had jaundice, all the fun stuff that preemies have.  Although it was really shitty having my first child in the hospital, it gave us time to get everything we hadn't gotten (carseat, crib) that we desperately needed three weeks ahead of schedule.

After that, my second child came at 37 weeks and 5 days.  After feeling mild contractions for an hour at most, my water broke at 6:30 pm (again).  Within minutes, we were on the way to the hospital with contractions coming every three or four minutes and lasting over a minute.  I got wheeled in to the maternity ward, barely made it on the scale, got to use the new tub (the hospital I went to with my first, moved and built a dank, tricked out new hospital with sweet ass delivery and recovery rooms), barely got back to my bed to start pushing.  Two and a half hours after arriving at the hospital, my son was born.

Usually, you are more at risk for preterm labor if you have had it before.  Apparently, my children defy science or whatever.  I say that because I believed my third child would follow his sibling's leads and come out early.  I had been feeling enormous and having Braxton Hicks for weeks.  Many weeks.  Week 37 came and went.  I had my 38th week appointment and was dilated 3 cm, 80% effaced, and my son was at 0 station (meaning he was as far into my pelvis as he could be before entering the birth canal).  I had false labor pains that started at 7 pm and lasted well into the night.  Contractions were coming every seven minutes, but not growing in strength.  I felt like throwing up with every contraction.  My face would flush and I'd feel like fainting.  I almost went to the hospital just from feeling terrible.  This happened on two separate nights.

Fast forward to week 39.  I go to my OB-GYN and I am now 4-5 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and -1 station.  Yep, he was in the birth canal, but would not come out.  I was further dilated than my mother in law got when she had my husband, and I wasn't in labor.  What a jerk, right?  The doctor asked if I wanted my membranes swept (that's where they separate the amniotic sac from the uterine wall near the cervix).  Why not?  My daughter had started kindergarten the week before and my husband was due to start work the following week (he teaches at a private school) so the timing was right.  Several hours later, I was having contractions every four minutes and lasting a minute.  They'd been coming regularly for hours.  All the protocols were met.  My husband kept telling me to call the doctor to confirm going to the hospital, but I kept waiting for my water to break like before.  I had contractions with my first son that were hard to talk through because of the pain.  Why wasn't I having those?  Doctor said come on in when I finally did call.  I walked in, got on the scale, even had time to decide what I wanted for pain management.  I got some fentanyl and started to drift off (I was getting really tired with all the contractions).  Doc came in and broke my water.  Shit got real after that.  Little boy came an hour and ten min later.  I breathed through my pain and made a concerted effort to focus on each contraction.  I followed that up during the pushing with four big pushes.

It was really weird when my son came.  It was very emotional for me.  I had been having more and more doubts as his arrival came closer and the weeks wore on.  I started to freak out about whether we could do it, raise three kids.  I mean, what were we thinking?  His brother and sister had such a great relationship and here was this little boy coming in to ruin it.  And labor, wow.  It had only been a year and a half since my last labor and although it was quick, it hurt.  A lot.  I was scared.  Scared about how I would pick my daughter up from school with two little boys, scared about how I would breastfeed my newborn while my toddler ran around terrorizing my living room, scared about everything changing.  And then he came.

I still felt really worried.  I knew from my previous experiences that even the best labor can result in tears.  You just cannot help the emotion.  It's hard to explain.  I know hormones play a huge part, but even still, it's jarring.  With my last son, I was elated.  It all happened so fast, even if it was painful.  We didn't know what we were having with him until he came out balls and penis flashing.  I was so excited to have a son.  So why didn't I feel the same with this one?  I was pretty upset and didn't really connect while we were in the hospital.  I just wanted to get home and get into a routine.

We got home and things fell into place.  We suffered setbacks like most parents.  My son ended up jaundiced even with constant feeding (the ped at the hospital suggested that I have something that I've passed to my children since all three have been jaundiced, whether full-term or not), breastfeeding got temporarily screwed up (lactation consultant saved me from quitting), and he still has cradle cap at two months old (minor, but still annoying).  Even with the issues listed above, I found myself completely in love with my child.  When I'm away from him, he's constantly on my mind.  His cry is cute, his smile is cute, his little face is so cute.  I just can't get over it.  He's got such a sweet little face with these big eyes that just light up when he looks at me.  I've found that all my worries were unfounded and now that he's here, I can't imagine life without him.  It's as if I've never worried before and everything in my life fell perfectly into place.

Halloween

Last night we took my daughter trick or treating in our new neighborhood.  She was Disney's Rapunzel on her wedding day.  This costume had multiple components, almost all of which my daughter had to complain about.  The wig was itchy, the tiara/veil kept falling, the shoes were clunky, and the part that goes under the dress to pouf it out didn't quite stay in the right place.  I was told exactly, "there's something under my dress...it's not perfect".  What a statement!

We also took my sons for a short bit.  The elder was dressed as Hulk and the younger was Mike from Monster's Inc.  They were so cute and I was so proud of them.  The toddler, who is usually a holy terror, was an absolute delight.  He waved hi to people and didn't fuss.  He stayed on my husband's shoulders and had the greatest time.  The baby, who is only two months old, slept.  Like, almost the entire time we were out with them.  I was very impressed with both of them.  I cannot wait until next year when both of them can walk around.

It sprinkled at the start of the night, but that bothered next to no one (except my daughter who worried about her dress, naturally).  We were out for about an hour before we headed home to put my toddler to bed and drop the baby off with grandparents, who handed out candy for us.  We met up with friends of ours and now, I am determined to always trick or treat with friends of ours, whether it's the family down the street that have a daughter around our son's age or the family with kids a couple years older than our oldest.  Trick or treating with other kids helps keep the whole thing in perspective.

Drive thrues for the win

Wow, being a stay at home mom (or SAHM) is exhausting.  Don't get me wrong, I stayed home for about two months with my first child so I had an idea what I was getting into, but now with three, it's crazy.  I've just given up on getting anything done except dishes and laundry (which may or may not get put away). Sometimes it's really nice, like now when both of the little ones are napping and the oldest is in school.  Other times, like when my husband will be home in an hour and my two month old is hungry and crying, the 18 month old is screaming because I won't let him climb on the baby gate, and the five year old is whining because I haven't put on the one show she's allotted, it sucks.  Sometimes I'm really glad I don't have to deal with all the usual bullshit at my job, but damn.  Sometimes it's hard to find time to pee, at least now while the littlest is so little.

Did I mention that breastfeeding sucks too?  Well, sort of.  It's great not paying to feed my child or sterilize bottles and wash them all the time (unless I pump and bottle feed, which I usually can't because of the toddler).  Also, the milk shop is always open, which means the milk shop is open whether I need to use the bathroom, I'm in the shower, getting dressed, or getting groceries.  For awhile, my son was going through a growth spurt that I swear lasted three weeks, meaning he was constantly attached to me.  He was eating almost every hour around the clock.  Obnoxious.  I'd start to feel like I was ready to give up and then he'd take a two hour nap and just look so cute.

It's great how kids seem to know when to make you fall in love with them again.  You reach this point where you just want to throw them out the window or drop them off with grandparents and then you drive away for a long time (don't let anyone lie to you, we all reach that point at least once in our child's lives), but then they smile at you or laugh or dance around and they just look so cute and melt your heart and you forget all about how frustrated you were a second ago.

I do wish I had the time to write more.  If I did, I'd post more, but usually the littlest is hungry or the toddler is getting into everything he shouldn't.  I'd love to record my thoughts, transcribe them and easily post them with the touch of a button, but even if there is a way to do it, I don't have the time to figure out how.  I also wish it wasn't such a pain in the ass to go out and get a cup of coffee... the Dunkin they are building near me needs to open.

All D's are NOT created equal

So, my quest to find a nursing bra that I like has led me through the rabbit holes of the internet from one blogger post to reddit, to an online British bra shop, then over to Amazon to order correct sizes.  Knowing that I have two children already would lead you to believe I already own nursing bras.  You would be correct.  I didn't really know what i was doing with my first child and went with what I was fitted for.  That was okay except that I was younger and obsessed with underwire bras.

For one reason or another, I struggled with breastfeeding.  I didn't like the concept, the experience, the inevitable pumping as I returned to work full-time, nothing about it.  My milk production dropped.  I got frustrated and stressed, dropping it further.  After two or three months, that was it.  Slowly, I stopped altogether.

With my son, I was older, more mature, and in a better place emotionally (no post-partum depression like with my daughter).  I was determined to do things right and breastfeed through six months, which is the recommended minimum time period before antibodies stop being transferred and all sorts of other goodness.  I did my research and it turns out that underwire bras can cut into breast tissue and cause problems with breastfeeding.  I figured that was my problem last time, besides the emotional and mental issues I was dealing with.  I got wireless bras and ones I could sleep in.  They were more comfortable, but again, I still ended up having to stop around two months, thanks to work, again.

This time, I am determined to make it work.  I am also determined to get new bras that are supportive (unlike the ridiculously comfortable ones I had with my son), pretty, and comfortable.  I looked up best nursing bras, which led me to Amazon and their best-selling list.  That was a good starting point.  I bought some bras that I thought were the right size.  They arrived and they were NOT the right size.  They were too small.  How could that be?

I started looking up sizing/fitting and was shocked to find that I've been doing it wrong all these years.  The traditional method of measuring was to measure around the top of your bust, right above the breast tissue, for the band size and around the fullest part of your bust for the bust size.  You then subtract the two and the difference in inches was your cup size.  Doing that always put me at an awkward size because after breastfeeding two kids, your skin stretches and the breast tissue can migrate without proper support.  That was my problem.  TMI, I know, but the truth.  The new way is to measure your band right below the breast tissue (snug and tightly), measure your bust standing up, bend over so the tape measure is perpendicular to the floor and measure bust, then lie flat on your back and measure your bust then.  If the difference between your standing bust and bent bust is more than 3 inches, average the two.  As usual take the difference between band size and bust.  Again, inches correlate to cup sizes.  Apparently, I've been wearing bands that are too big and cups that are too small.

1. Fun fact that most women don't know:  All D's are not created equal.  I always assumed that a D was the same across the board, that the only thing changing was the band size.  Now, I knew that a 34D was not as big as a 36D, but I assumed that because the band was bigger, the cup would "spread out" more or something like that.  Nope.  The cup size is about capacity, the band is about tightness around your ribcage.  There are such things as sister sizes.  For example, a 32D is equal to a 34C and a 36B.  When you go up a band size, you go down a cup size.  Wow, wish I had understood that years ago.

2. Fun fact:  The band should be relatively tight (allowing no more than two fingers between the band and your body).  If it feels a little tight on the loosest setting, you're probably wearing the right size.  That's correct, you do not want to go up a band size.  You also don't want to start out on the tightest hook.  You start at the loosest and then over time, as the elastic wears out, you tighten the hooks.  Common sense, right?  Apparently not.

3. Fun fact:  Swoop and scoop to put on your bra.  Do not put it on backwards and turn it around, like most of us were taught (I know I was).  I've been told (or read somewhere) that you should put your bra on bent over and facing the right way.  This way, gravity puts your breast tissue in the cups.  I've gotten lazy over time and stopped doing this.  I also figured it doesn't matter after breastfeeding two kids because you're already screwed.  Not so.  You can help your breasts find their way home by following that method and then swooping and scooping the breast tissue into the cup after you have stood up.  It is how it sounds.  Swoop your hand in your bra from the farthest side and scoop the breast into the cup.  You will probably find more breast than you knew you had.  I know I did.

I have since gone online, returned the bras I bought and ordered new ones, in the correct size.  Fit and bra styles are not universal so I expect that the different bras will work better at different phases of breastfeeding.  At least now I know how to size myself so I can find bras that fit me when this is all said and done.  Until then, I hope to enjoy my new bras and to find success in breastfeeding this time around.  Besides, they say, "third time's the charm".  Perhaps I'll have enough brain cells after baby's born to write if that's the case.

It's time for bed

It's late and I really should be heading to bed, after brushing my teeth, of course, but I felt the need to write a little something.  A friend shared an article on Google+ about decision-making.  I sat here for a moment making my decision to write some shit on this blog.  Apparently, we make better decisions in the morning due to higher levels of seratonin.  We also make better decisions when we've had a break from making decisions (another reason the morning is good).  Thinking about this, I realized that I have emotional funkiness at night, before going to bed, and often have trouble falling asleep because I'm thinking about everything I have to do the next day and all the decisions I'll have to make.  That study just might explain things a little.

On a separate note, I'm now 35 weeks along and feeling large, uncomfortable, and ready for it to be over while simultaneously freaking out about what my body will be going through in a few short weeks.  That's on the of the benefits and cons of knowing what I'm in for, when it comes to labor.  It's nice to know so I don't have to be paranoid about whether I'm truly in labor or not because I already know what it feels like.  Which is where things get shitty.  It hurts.  I don't care what people say, but it hurts.  After giving birth naturally twice, I can tell you it hurts, even when it's fast and you have a relatively high tolerance for pain.  I really hate thinking about it, but it's hard not to since I just did it little more than a year ago.

Today I looked at old pictures from my son's birth and it reminded me of why it's worth it.  Still don't like the idea of it, but it's definitely more bearable to think of when seeing my sweet son and knowing I've got a new little man to meet very soon.

Water weight gain

Third pregnancy...yeah, I've done this before.  So far, this pregnancy is a little more difficult than the last.  It's not like I feel sicker.  I never threw up with any of them and I barely had morning sickness with the first, but this one feels so heavy.  He's so low in my belly that it's hard to know what I'm feeling there.  Is it gas, pee, baby?  I'm barely 25 weeks and I'm already having Braxton Hicks contractions.  It's all normal, but damn, is it uncomfortable.  Today, my tummy feels so big....ugh....

A couple seemingly random things

Obviously, I'm really bad at keeping up with posting.  I did okay for awhile, but then with work, school, kids, moving...I've just been too busy.  Today I wanted to share two things in particular.  First thing is that I got the idea that I should get a wireless controller for my gamecube since my son won't let anyone plug a cord in without trying to grab and chew it.  Ebay sucks, right?  We all know this.  I prefer using Amazon because the shipping cost is almost always the same.  You are also supposed to have items in a certain condition to match what they list as a sellable sku.  Anyway, ebay was cheaper.  I put a bid in, got outbid, put in another max bid and ended up winning with barely more than my previous max bid.  Man, do I feel like a winner.  The silly thing is I'm still paying for my prize, I just won the chance to pay less than someone else and get the item in question.  Very exciting stuff.

Second thing, my son that is in utero has been very active for the past few days.  It's as if seeing him and finding out what he's going to be gave him license to kick the shit out of my belly.  Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that he's active and assumedly healthy (at least, he was for the ultrasound as far as we could tell), but damn.  It's pretty uncomfortable.  That coupled with some second trimester morning sickness....pretty unpleasant.  On the bright side, my other son, the one that has been born and can now run around, is napping...yay.

Happy birthday to the birthday boy

My son is a year old today.  It's crazy to think that it's already been a year since he was born.  In that time, my husband started a new job, we bought a house, I went back to full-time at work, and I started my fourth college semester.  That's a lot of stuff going one.

Next year, some of that is changing.  I've decided that I have to go back down to part-time if I want to spend any time with my family and not be exhausted every moment of every day.  Let me take you through my week.

Sunday: I work all day, 9:30-6:30p
Monday: I'm off work, class 7-9p, my husband works 7-6p
Tuesday: drop kids off to daycare/in-laws, class 9:30-12:30p, work from 2-9:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Wed: drop kids off, work from 8:30-4:30p, class 7-9p, hubby works 7-6p
Thur: drop kids off, class 9:30-4:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Fri: drop kids off, work 2-9:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Sat: drop kids off/someone comes over, work 9-5p, hubby works 10-1p

Crazy, right?

Today, my husband and I are both off work to celebrate our child.  Today, we are going to the park, I am getting a haircut, we might get coffee together, and later, having dinner with the family.  After that, cake!!  I'm pretty excited to watch my son try to figure out what cake and frosting are.

I'm back

It's been ages since I posted anything and during that time, I've gone through a bit of a "crisis of identity", if you will.  I had a moment when I realized, I don't have any hobbies.  I'm supposed to do an essay based on my interests.  I'm sitting there thinking, "What are my interests?"  I couldn't think of a fuckin thing.  Depressing, to say the least.

In the meantime, I made the decision to stop worrying about pandering to those that might get offended by one of my opinions or potty mouth.  I need to embrace the person I am, the person I want to be.  I used to be passionate about everything, even things that probably weren't worth it.  I dated someone who fought with me over that, actually.  I don't even remember why the fight started, but it ended with him telling me that I needed to control my emotions and me telling him that I liked being passionate about everything.  We split up.

Here's the thing though, I dated another guy who was even worse about it.  Things were great for awhile, or so it seemed to me, but he ended up being a "crazy".  He made me feel like shit about everything, basically.  I felt like shit about being friends with people, leaving the house, having interest in things, my kid and how I was raising her, even how I was dealing with my separation from my husband.  Thanks to him, I've struggled for a long time with regaining all that I've lost.  I really took the things he said to heart.  When you've grown up around abuse and then you get involved in it (doesn't need to be physical), it twists you up.  I've been twisted.  I think I'm pulling away, but it's a process.  I don't get excited about things the way I used to and the passion is gone from my voice.  I don't feel much of it inside my soul either.  I'm so busy with work, school, and my family that it's been hard to focus on myself, but I'm trying.  Re-taking my blog is a good start.  No more censoring (well, not the extent to which I have been censoring myself).  Time to find myself again, and this time without the use of my motorcycle.

Almonds are not nuts

I am allergic to tree nuts.  That means walnuts, cashews, and hazelnuts, to name a few.  I have always eaten cereals with almonds in them and for the longest time, I've been freaked out that all of a sudden I will have an allergic reaction to them.  I learned the hard way that although cashews look like elongated peanuts, they are not.  My tongue tingles and my throat gets inflamed.  I get hives all over my body and can't breathe too well. I've had this happen enough times that I really would not care to have it happen again.

In bio, we've been studying plants and phylogenies.  I learned that pineapples, rice, and spanish moss are all in the same order.  Pretty cool.  So I figured I would look up almonds.  Turns out, they are like the core of a peach.  Not really a nut at all, but just a seed.  Yep.  Yay for me and my future with almonds.

It's been awhile...

So, I have been so busy.  I'm still going to school full-time and I still have my two young children, but now I am also full-time at work.  That means I'm working 40-hrs a weeks in addition to doing my homework, attending classes, taking care of my kids, and trying to empty all the boxes in our new house.  Wow, that's a lot of work!  I'm pretty exhausted when I stop moving, but fortunately, that's not too often :)

I'm a real grown-up!

I am officially a homeowner.  As such, I decided to be responsible and get life insurance, just in case.  We got a new bed for my daughter.  We're going to start moving things in tomorrow and hoping to be done by Sunday.  We're aiming for a Super Bowl party.  Everything has started coming into place.  I am a real live grown-up.

We can has house! Mostly..

This morning we did our walk-through.  Things looked okay, but perhaps a little worse for wear than the last time we saw them.  In addition to that, there was junk in the garage (not to mention all the dog poop in the front yard).  Maybe they stopped caring, but either way, it was a little disheartening.  I know that I will feel better when we are actually in the house and make it our home.

After the walk-through, we signed paperwork.  A lot of paperwork.  For over an hour.  After all of that, the paperwork couldn't be filed with the county because the seller "couldn't get there until 3:30".  Again, not sure if they stopped caring or what.  But since they couldn't sign paperwork until the late afternoon, the title won't be ours until tomorrow, hence the "mostly" part.  So yeah, we have a house....mostly.

Besides the house situation, my car has been broken down.  It all started with the flat tire.  That got changed (to the spare), but then I couldn't turn the key in the ignition.  Trust me, I'm not an idiot.  Neither my husband, nor my father-in-law, could get this thing fixed and believe me, my father-in-law knows what he's doing.  So the car got towed to an import place because the Honda dealership sucks.  It took about a week for the part I needed to come in.  It got fixed today...mostly.  The keys needed to be reprogrammed so we ghetto-fabbed the car to run (i.e. taped my original key in the open steering column with all the wires exposed while using a second key to turn the ignition).  We go to Honda to reprogram the keys.  They do, mostly.  I have one key to open the door and a second key to put in the ignition.  The original key is pretty much worthless, along with its remote.  Damn.  We drive over to Cole's Imports to get the steering column put completely back together.  After that's done, we drive over to Merchant's to get a new tire.  Well, they couldn't find the anti-theft lug nut key.  That's right, we cannot get the tire off because this tiny thing is missing.  It's either at Cole's or disappeared somewhere in between the many places we went.  The reason it wasn't in the trunk with the old tire and all the other parts was the spare apparently had a nail in it so Cole's patched it up.  Fantastic.  At this very moment, we're trying to figure out how I'm getting to work, how we're getting a replacement lug nut, and when all this magic is happening.

Today my life got better...mostly.

Snowday, but not really

Today it snowed.  Well, really it was more like yesterday when it snowed, but today we reap the benefits.  Sort of.  I got a delay, which was nice except that all I got out of was 35 minutes of a class that I had to take anyway.  I had a class after that one and a lab later today that will go from 1:40 until 4:35pm.  Conveniently enough, I left my wallet at home so I have no way to feed myself.  I don't have a car either so I can't go and get said wallet or even dig out any change that might be in said vehicle.  Yep, life sucks a little right now.

On a side note, my daughter got a snow day.  She likes going to preschool, but her grandmother is visiting today so I kept her home.  She also got to go play in the snow and make a snow angel.  She did, however, start crying after we got inside because her hands were so cold.  Good thing she had gloves on to begin with.

1+1= -1?

Today it was really cold.  Not like, "holy shit, I didn't realize I lived in Alaska", but more like, "damn, I didn't know Virginia got this cold".  I can't wait for it to be spring.

Regardless of the temperature, I still have to go to work.  At work, we get trades, offer pre-orders and rewards cards.  I have a customer come in who pre-ordered something months ago.  He's interested in picking it up.  Score, no cancellations.  Turns out he pre-ordered the wrong game.  He cancels and puts it towards the one he wants.  It's only my first transaction.  I can make it up.  Nope, apparently not.  A guy comes in with his trades and I tell him he'll get more by pre-ordering one of several specific titles.  He's totally fine with that, but wait, maybe he already has it reserved.  He doesn't, I checked.  He does, however, have two other games reserved that he's not interested in picking up.  I wouldn't mention it, but he specifically asked what he had on pre-order.  Dammit.  So somehow, the one pre-order I was getting to balance the cancellation resulted in more cancellations.  FML.

There's always another form

So we're supposed to close on the 29th.  I knew things were going too well.

Today I got an email that the release form for the IRS had the wrong address on it.  That's funny because that address should have been the correct one.  I don't have the tax return any more because my ex-husband needed it when he sold his house and I never got it back from him.  He claims he didn't have it, but we made a special trip over to deliver it to him so I'm pretty sure he's got it somewhere...or his lawyer does.

Whatever, whatever, right?  I sent an email asking to see a copy of the form I filled out and the person who emailed me is like "just check the return", and I'm thinking, "bitch, I don't have it".  I emailed my CPA so she should be able to solve this once and for all.

On a separate note, started school again the other day.  Going pretty well so far.  I'm taking Bio, Spanish, and a sociology class about race and ethnicity as a requirement.  A friend called it a "white guilt" class, but so far it's not.  I'm okay with it if it is...we messed up.  Right now, we're working on social constructs.  Do you think we could apply that to protists?  Apparently, they're having trouble classifying them too.

Snow White

First things first, my daughter wanted a haircut.  She already has almost shoulder length hair.  She used to have long hair, but I have short hair and naturally, she wanted "to look like Mommy" so now she has shorter hair.  She told Grandma that she wanted to look like Snow White.  When I heard that, I was thinking, "there's not much that can be done, your hair's already that length."

I was wrong.  She meant Ginnifer Goodwin's Snow White.  The one from Once Upon a Time, whose hair is about two inches long at best.

My son, Indiana Jones

My son found the Holy Grail while I was at work.  My husband described it to me.  Apparently our son was playing like usual.  He likes to stand up and walk holding onto things (slowly).  He doesn't play on the floor as much as he used to because standing is more fun (ie. he can reach more stuff).

Tangent: My son used to just stand, but not sit.  He could sit in his highchair, but apparently crawling really fast or standing was just more fun.  One day, we went to a get-together at a family friend's house and there was a baby there who was one month older than my son.  This baby sat like a champ, but instead of crawling, he rolled everywhere.  It was very cute, even when he round-housed my son.  He just had this laid-back way of rolling.  You wouldn't know what he was after until he got there.  My son, on the other hand, is a very determined little boy.  When he wants something, you know it.  He was crawling all over.  I was super proud that he was showing up this older baby, but he still wasn't sitting.  When my daughter was his age, she had been sitting for three months.  Ridiculous.  But you know what, the day after the party.  My son started sitting up all the time as though he always had been.

Back to the main story.  As previously laid out, my son sits, stands, and crawls.  He no longer plays on his tummy, but today, he was.  He starts putting his fingers under the sofa.  My husband figures he'll just take whatever my son finds under there away from him after he pulls it out.  He's thinking that it's probably just a dust bunny or a sock, at best.  So the fingers go under, then the whole hand, then the elbow, and he keeps going.  Finally, he's up to his shoulder in dust bunnies, or whatever.  He pulls out his arm, sits up, and waves his arm triumphantly.  He found the TV remote.  Yep.

Update-the saga continues

So, as I'm waiting for documentation that I need to fill out (two documents, actually), the phone line goes dead and the internet goes out.  Awesome.

The phone and the internet is fixed, which I find out when the guy from the phone company calls the house.  Great!

Apparently, after waiting all day for an email with an attachment for this house, "no further documentation is needed".  I email back because now I'm confused as shit.  Do they mean they don't need more than the two things they asked for, or is there just something coming from the bank but the agents don't have to draft anything?  No, apparently the short sale lender was "confused" and hopefully the approval will be released in "24-48 hours".  Yeah, we'll see about that.

Holding pattern continues

Short sales suck.  They suck real bad.

We started looking for a house in town (by which I mean, not Fairfax) around January or February when I was still pregnant.  We started looking at a gated community thirty minutes outside of town.  It's very safe and the houses are very affordable (even with the HOA).

We found a house that we loved.  We made an offer, but my husband was still waiting for a contract from his new employer.  We had enough money for the house and offered a lease-purchase.  They were okay with a lease-purchase, but not for us.  They let a woman who was in the process of getting a divorce move in because she was offering more for rent and more than the house was worth.  I kind of hope the divorce got kind of ugly and messed up some finances.  Very frustrating.

We couldn't find a house we liked as much as that one so we figured we'd start looking closer to town because what's the point of spending a little less to drive farther from a house we don't love (especially since the resale won't be as good anyway).  After lots of looking, we found two houses that had similar characteristics and prices.  One had a great lot with lots of space, but the inside of the house felt kinda small. The kitchen was nice, the shared bathroom was pretty, and the basement (which was in the process of being remodeled and was supposed to be done at close) would be nice when it was finished.  The master was tiny with enough room for a squished shower stall and a toilet almost behind the door (seriously, a full-grown man could barely fit in there).

The other house we loved was a split foyer like the other house, but it felt so big.  The upstairs had a huge master with a nice bathroom and was attached to a small office that could be accessed from the hallway.  The other two bedrooms were at the end of the hall.  Perfect for privacy after the kids got old enough to appreciate it.  The downstairs had two living rooms (one with a fireplace), another nice bathroom, sizable bedroom, and nice hallway leading to the garage.  That's right, garage, which is perfect for my motorcycle.  Did I mention that the house backs up to an elementary with good ratings and is in a great neighborhood?  Yep.  Probably sounds like a no-brainer for most people, but I really liked the first house with the yard (it also had a big barn with electricity that could eventually be fit for my bike).  It's just that the master was so small.  The only problem with the house in the neighborhood was that it was a short sale.  We never wanted to get involved in all that hassle, but this house was so perfect.  The other plus was that someone else had put an offer in that was below the asking price (which can be risky with short sales), and it was accepted.  They had dropped out because of financing.  We put an offer in during the summer.

Fast forward to now.  We still don't have a house.  The price has been accepted, but they are "haggling over a few fees".  We now have two forms to sign.  One is an addendum to an addendum.  Yep, you read that right.  The other fun part is that they haven't even sent these forms yet so after I got a phone call and email from my realtor, I can't even do anything about it.  It's awesome.  NOT.

It's just an accident

Three posts in one day?  Something must have happened.

Every Friday, I take the kids to see their dad at his work.  He works at a boarding school and has to be there late every Friday to basically babysit so we go have dinner with him.  Today was no exception, except that my right front tire deflated.  Nothing exciting like a blow-out, but slowly the car began to grind the ground.  I knew what that sound was so I pulled over in a big driveway near an old barn.  That property was recently purchased and a house was built there.  I coveted that land forever, and now I can covet that memory of trying to change my tire there.

Here's the story.  I've never changed a tire before.  I know where the spare is, but that's about it.  I went to get it and it was stuck.  Apparently they are locked in.  Didn't know that.  I call my husband to tell him the tire is flat and I don't really know what to do.  He doesn't answer.  I call my father-in-law since he's handy with everything.  He doesn't answer.  I call my mom who can at least call the right people if I need a tow.  She doesn't answer.  What the hell is going on?

My mom calls back.  I tell her I don't know how to get the spare out.  She says it's locked in.  So it's not just me.  Good to know.  She says she'll come over.  While she's on the phone with me, a guy pulls over and asks if I need help.  He's maybe the same age as me and smoking a cigarette.  I tell him my tire's flat, but I've got someone on the way.  Five minutes later, another guy who looks about twenty pulls over to check on me.  I tell him the same.  I appreciate them asking, but I've got my kids in the car and I don't know these guys.  I'm sure that they were just being nice, but I don't take chances with my kids.  Besides, by the time the second guy stopped, my husband was on the way.

For the record, I've gotten the lug nuts off and jacked up the car.  The problem is that the driveway I pulled over in is gravel.  The jack keeps breaking the rocks.  Not helping.  My mom gets there, feeds the baby, and amuses the five-year-old while I'm realizing that I'm never going to be able to get the spare on unless I find a way to get the car up higher.  I find some packed dirt and lower the car, put the nuts back on, and back up.  I get the jack back out, take the lug nuts off, jack up the car.  It's better.  I do a test on the tire.  It cuts me.  Do you know why?  Because it was down to the metal in the tire.  Yep, guess I should have gotten it changed when I had the chance.

Anyway, my husband gets there, he finishes raising the car and gets the tire off.  It's super flat, by the way.  He gets the spare on.  He goes back to work after I pull the car out onto the road.  I go home.

My mom follows me to make sure I get there okay.  I do.  I try to wash my hands (they're very filthy) and get hydrogen peroxide on my scrapes.  I get my daughter dinner and some chocolate milk.  I'm going to regret that in about ten minutes, but I don't know that yet.  My son is fine.  He got some bottle in the car so he's just crawling around, standing up, and chewing on stuff.  You know, baby stuff.  I'm in the kitchen trying to wash dishes and make the bottles up.  Suddenly I hear, "Grammy, I made a spill".  Oh, no.  She spilled a little earlier and I told her the next time it happened, she'd have to clean it herself.  My mom helps her get napkins and then goes to where the spill is.  I'm still in the kitchen when my mom comes in to tell me napkins aren't going to do it.  Great.  I get dishcloths and go look.  Jesus Christ, it's all over the floor.  She must have spilled the whole thing.  PS.  It's nowhere near the table where she was eating.  Apparently, she finished eating and went to play, and decided it was a good idea to bring her milk with her.  Not so much.  In any case, it got cleaned up, some of her toys got wet, and I made her cry.  I emphasize that next time she needs to listen when I tell her to leave her drink on the table.  Tearfully she says "yes".  Mission accomplished.

Please take my nickel, Lucy

Advice is totally welcome.  I had joined a community through Google+ for web developers, designers, and coders.  I'm not really any of those things, but I'd like to bed.  I've made two "websites" for school projects. I took an information technology course to fulfill that requirement for school and in that course, I had to do a research paper on anything in the field that's relatively current.  I did my project on the PS3 because I already had a lot of knowledge about it.  It went well.  In addition to the paper, we needed to make webpages for the different pages of our paper.  It was all HTML.  I loved it.

Besides that, I had done a webpage for an IT course in high school.  I figured it was a good way to circumvent the IT test that was required for graduation.  Again, that was HTML.  I loved it then too.

Today when I was looking on my homepage for G+, I saw a post with a comment about not posting links for personal promotion or other communities.  It was for the web dev community.  I finally looked over the community and found a post about starting out.  The post linked to a website with a post by a relatively newer web designer who wrote a page titled "Newcomers to web designers, don't be put off".  This article had links to websites that are good for new designers and advice on getting started.  Very helpful.  I totally plan to visit these sites.  HTML may be tedious, but it's fun.  I'd love to learn more.

"Me" time

Right now I'm enjoying a little "me" time.  It doesn't happen too often...in fact, apparently it just ended.  The baby woke up.

Learning about happiness

Many mornings I end up watching the Today Show.  I mentioned before that I have an infant son.  That infant son doesn't like to sleep too late.  This morning he got up around 4:30 am.  My husband took over since I got up with the baby during the night (he's teething).  He had to leave for work close to 8 so I came downstairs to hang out with BooBoo.  

The Today Show is already on the TV.  Today they have a segment on happiness.  The point of the story is that a professor in California found that people assign happiness to life events like getting married, getting a promotion, or having children.  This can make us happy, but not as long as we think.  What makes you happy is appreciating what you have (i.e. sending thank-you cards and saying you're grateful for things), being positive, warmly greeting people when they come in or when they are leaving, just being tender with people, and (this one's weird) making your bed.  Yep, making your bed.  Supposedly, it helps us feel better by giving us control over something first thing in the morning.

Part of why I wanted to write about this is that I feel I have issues with being happy and many times I don't know why.  I have a husband and kids that I love, great friends, and just finished a perfect semester.  The things that make me unhappy are my job and my living situation.  Don't get me wrong, even though I've had two consecutive semesters where I earned a 4.0, the school situation is not ideal either.  I don't have my bachelor's yet even though I should by now.  If I had continued school the first time, I would have graduated in 2010.  It doesn't sound so bad until you consider that I'm only one year and a half in.  I'm still a sophomore.  Just saying....

As far as work goes, I've worked in retail for...hold on, let me think...nine years.  Nearly a decade of selling people shit they don't need.  Almost eight years have been spent at the same retailer.  I've been a store manager, a regular shift supervisor, and the lowliest associate all at the same retailer.  I'm just ready to do something else, but without a degree, I'm not qualified for most things.  When I think about what I would do, I'm not sure.  I love numbers, my motorcycle, photography, painting, teaching, and speaking Spanish.  My dream job would be studying sea turtles in Costa Rica.  I know it's not impossible, but I've got two young kids and a working proficiency in Spanish (not to mention the degree issue).  I know I just need to be patient while I finish up school, but it's so hard.  I'm still brainstorming what else I could do to earn money besides the same retail job I've had forever.

Now, the living situation.  I haven't had a house since the first time I was married and even then, it wasn't my house.  It was my husband's that he inherited from his dad when he passed away from a skydiving accident.  I had my own apartment for a little bit and almost bought a house during the separation, but when I reunited with my husband, I backed out.  Fast forward two years to our divorce and I still don't have my own place.  I got remarried and my new husband and I moved to Fairfax so I could go back to George Mason (which was great).  We got pregnant like we hoped and started to spend a lot of time back in Charlottesville since my ob-gyn was there.  We decided to move back after our lease in Fairfax was over.  And now in the present, we are waiting for our house purchase to go through.  It's a short sale so it's taking forever.  On the bright side, we live with my in-laws who do not charge us rent.  I really need to remember that this is temporary and it's very cheap.

Overall, my life doesn't suck as much as I feel like it does sometimes.  It's not perfect, but no one's is.  When I take a step back, it's pretty good actually.

That's what she said!

"Oh, did some of that get in your pants?" and "You know, it's been a really great night even if you make me clean-up" are just two of the quotes from this years New Years Eve show.  Brilliant.

Happy New Year, indeed.