All D's are NOT created equal

So, my quest to find a nursing bra that I like has led me through the rabbit holes of the internet from one blogger post to reddit, to an online British bra shop, then over to Amazon to order correct sizes.  Knowing that I have two children already would lead you to believe I already own nursing bras.  You would be correct.  I didn't really know what i was doing with my first child and went with what I was fitted for.  That was okay except that I was younger and obsessed with underwire bras.

For one reason or another, I struggled with breastfeeding.  I didn't like the concept, the experience, the inevitable pumping as I returned to work full-time, nothing about it.  My milk production dropped.  I got frustrated and stressed, dropping it further.  After two or three months, that was it.  Slowly, I stopped altogether.

With my son, I was older, more mature, and in a better place emotionally (no post-partum depression like with my daughter).  I was determined to do things right and breastfeed through six months, which is the recommended minimum time period before antibodies stop being transferred and all sorts of other goodness.  I did my research and it turns out that underwire bras can cut into breast tissue and cause problems with breastfeeding.  I figured that was my problem last time, besides the emotional and mental issues I was dealing with.  I got wireless bras and ones I could sleep in.  They were more comfortable, but again, I still ended up having to stop around two months, thanks to work, again.

This time, I am determined to make it work.  I am also determined to get new bras that are supportive (unlike the ridiculously comfortable ones I had with my son), pretty, and comfortable.  I looked up best nursing bras, which led me to Amazon and their best-selling list.  That was a good starting point.  I bought some bras that I thought were the right size.  They arrived and they were NOT the right size.  They were too small.  How could that be?

I started looking up sizing/fitting and was shocked to find that I've been doing it wrong all these years.  The traditional method of measuring was to measure around the top of your bust, right above the breast tissue, for the band size and around the fullest part of your bust for the bust size.  You then subtract the two and the difference in inches was your cup size.  Doing that always put me at an awkward size because after breastfeeding two kids, your skin stretches and the breast tissue can migrate without proper support.  That was my problem.  TMI, I know, but the truth.  The new way is to measure your band right below the breast tissue (snug and tightly), measure your bust standing up, bend over so the tape measure is perpendicular to the floor and measure bust, then lie flat on your back and measure your bust then.  If the difference between your standing bust and bent bust is more than 3 inches, average the two.  As usual take the difference between band size and bust.  Again, inches correlate to cup sizes.  Apparently, I've been wearing bands that are too big and cups that are too small.

1. Fun fact that most women don't know:  All D's are not created equal.  I always assumed that a D was the same across the board, that the only thing changing was the band size.  Now, I knew that a 34D was not as big as a 36D, but I assumed that because the band was bigger, the cup would "spread out" more or something like that.  Nope.  The cup size is about capacity, the band is about tightness around your ribcage.  There are such things as sister sizes.  For example, a 32D is equal to a 34C and a 36B.  When you go up a band size, you go down a cup size.  Wow, wish I had understood that years ago.

2. Fun fact:  The band should be relatively tight (allowing no more than two fingers between the band and your body).  If it feels a little tight on the loosest setting, you're probably wearing the right size.  That's correct, you do not want to go up a band size.  You also don't want to start out on the tightest hook.  You start at the loosest and then over time, as the elastic wears out, you tighten the hooks.  Common sense, right?  Apparently not.

3. Fun fact:  Swoop and scoop to put on your bra.  Do not put it on backwards and turn it around, like most of us were taught (I know I was).  I've been told (or read somewhere) that you should put your bra on bent over and facing the right way.  This way, gravity puts your breast tissue in the cups.  I've gotten lazy over time and stopped doing this.  I also figured it doesn't matter after breastfeeding two kids because you're already screwed.  Not so.  You can help your breasts find their way home by following that method and then swooping and scooping the breast tissue into the cup after you have stood up.  It is how it sounds.  Swoop your hand in your bra from the farthest side and scoop the breast into the cup.  You will probably find more breast than you knew you had.  I know I did.

I have since gone online, returned the bras I bought and ordered new ones, in the correct size.  Fit and bra styles are not universal so I expect that the different bras will work better at different phases of breastfeeding.  At least now I know how to size myself so I can find bras that fit me when this is all said and done.  Until then, I hope to enjoy my new bras and to find success in breastfeeding this time around.  Besides, they say, "third time's the charm".  Perhaps I'll have enough brain cells after baby's born to write if that's the case.

It's time for bed

It's late and I really should be heading to bed, after brushing my teeth, of course, but I felt the need to write a little something.  A friend shared an article on Google+ about decision-making.  I sat here for a moment making my decision to write some shit on this blog.  Apparently, we make better decisions in the morning due to higher levels of seratonin.  We also make better decisions when we've had a break from making decisions (another reason the morning is good).  Thinking about this, I realized that I have emotional funkiness at night, before going to bed, and often have trouble falling asleep because I'm thinking about everything I have to do the next day and all the decisions I'll have to make.  That study just might explain things a little.

On a separate note, I'm now 35 weeks along and feeling large, uncomfortable, and ready for it to be over while simultaneously freaking out about what my body will be going through in a few short weeks.  That's on the of the benefits and cons of knowing what I'm in for, when it comes to labor.  It's nice to know so I don't have to be paranoid about whether I'm truly in labor or not because I already know what it feels like.  Which is where things get shitty.  It hurts.  I don't care what people say, but it hurts.  After giving birth naturally twice, I can tell you it hurts, even when it's fast and you have a relatively high tolerance for pain.  I really hate thinking about it, but it's hard not to since I just did it little more than a year ago.

Today I looked at old pictures from my son's birth and it reminded me of why it's worth it.  Still don't like the idea of it, but it's definitely more bearable to think of when seeing my sweet son and knowing I've got a new little man to meet very soon.

Water weight gain

Third pregnancy...yeah, I've done this before.  So far, this pregnancy is a little more difficult than the last.  It's not like I feel sicker.  I never threw up with any of them and I barely had morning sickness with the first, but this one feels so heavy.  He's so low in my belly that it's hard to know what I'm feeling there.  Is it gas, pee, baby?  I'm barely 25 weeks and I'm already having Braxton Hicks contractions.  It's all normal, but damn, is it uncomfortable.  Today, my tummy feels so big....ugh....

A couple seemingly random things

Obviously, I'm really bad at keeping up with posting.  I did okay for awhile, but then with work, school, kids, moving...I've just been too busy.  Today I wanted to share two things in particular.  First thing is that I got the idea that I should get a wireless controller for my gamecube since my son won't let anyone plug a cord in without trying to grab and chew it.  Ebay sucks, right?  We all know this.  I prefer using Amazon because the shipping cost is almost always the same.  You are also supposed to have items in a certain condition to match what they list as a sellable sku.  Anyway, ebay was cheaper.  I put a bid in, got outbid, put in another max bid and ended up winning with barely more than my previous max bid.  Man, do I feel like a winner.  The silly thing is I'm still paying for my prize, I just won the chance to pay less than someone else and get the item in question.  Very exciting stuff.

Second thing, my son that is in utero has been very active for the past few days.  It's as if seeing him and finding out what he's going to be gave him license to kick the shit out of my belly.  Don't get me wrong, I love knowing that he's active and assumedly healthy (at least, he was for the ultrasound as far as we could tell), but damn.  It's pretty uncomfortable.  That coupled with some second trimester morning sickness....pretty unpleasant.  On the bright side, my other son, the one that has been born and can now run around, is napping...yay.

Happy birthday to the birthday boy

My son is a year old today.  It's crazy to think that it's already been a year since he was born.  In that time, my husband started a new job, we bought a house, I went back to full-time at work, and I started my fourth college semester.  That's a lot of stuff going one.

Next year, some of that is changing.  I've decided that I have to go back down to part-time if I want to spend any time with my family and not be exhausted every moment of every day.  Let me take you through my week.

Sunday: I work all day, 9:30-6:30p
Monday: I'm off work, class 7-9p, my husband works 7-6p
Tuesday: drop kids off to daycare/in-laws, class 9:30-12:30p, work from 2-9:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Wed: drop kids off, work from 8:30-4:30p, class 7-9p, hubby works 7-6p
Thur: drop kids off, class 9:30-4:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Fri: drop kids off, work 2-9:30p, hubby works 7-6p
Sat: drop kids off/someone comes over, work 9-5p, hubby works 10-1p

Crazy, right?

Today, my husband and I are both off work to celebrate our child.  Today, we are going to the park, I am getting a haircut, we might get coffee together, and later, having dinner with the family.  After that, cake!!  I'm pretty excited to watch my son try to figure out what cake and frosting are.

I'm back

It's been ages since I posted anything and during that time, I've gone through a bit of a "crisis of identity", if you will.  I had a moment when I realized, I don't have any hobbies.  I'm supposed to do an essay based on my interests.  I'm sitting there thinking, "What are my interests?"  I couldn't think of a fuckin thing.  Depressing, to say the least.

In the meantime, I made the decision to stop worrying about pandering to those that might get offended by one of my opinions or potty mouth.  I need to embrace the person I am, the person I want to be.  I used to be passionate about everything, even things that probably weren't worth it.  I dated someone who fought with me over that, actually.  I don't even remember why the fight started, but it ended with him telling me that I needed to control my emotions and me telling him that I liked being passionate about everything.  We split up.

Here's the thing though, I dated another guy who was even worse about it.  Things were great for awhile, or so it seemed to me, but he ended up being a "crazy".  He made me feel like shit about everything, basically.  I felt like shit about being friends with people, leaving the house, having interest in things, my kid and how I was raising her, even how I was dealing with my separation from my husband.  Thanks to him, I've struggled for a long time with regaining all that I've lost.  I really took the things he said to heart.  When you've grown up around abuse and then you get involved in it (doesn't need to be physical), it twists you up.  I've been twisted.  I think I'm pulling away, but it's a process.  I don't get excited about things the way I used to and the passion is gone from my voice.  I don't feel much of it inside my soul either.  I'm so busy with work, school, and my family that it's been hard to focus on myself, but I'm trying.  Re-taking my blog is a good start.  No more censoring (well, not the extent to which I have been censoring myself).  Time to find myself again, and this time without the use of my motorcycle.

Almonds are not nuts

I am allergic to tree nuts.  That means walnuts, cashews, and hazelnuts, to name a few.  I have always eaten cereals with almonds in them and for the longest time, I've been freaked out that all of a sudden I will have an allergic reaction to them.  I learned the hard way that although cashews look like elongated peanuts, they are not.  My tongue tingles and my throat gets inflamed.  I get hives all over my body and can't breathe too well. I've had this happen enough times that I really would not care to have it happen again.

In bio, we've been studying plants and phylogenies.  I learned that pineapples, rice, and spanish moss are all in the same order.  Pretty cool.  So I figured I would look up almonds.  Turns out, they are like the core of a peach.  Not really a nut at all, but just a seed.  Yep.  Yay for me and my future with almonds.