Wow, being a stay at home mom (or SAHM) is exhausting. Don't get me wrong, I stayed home for about two months with my first child so I had an idea what I was getting into, but now with three, it's crazy. I've just given up on getting anything done except dishes and laundry (which may or may not get put away). Sometimes it's really nice, like now when both of the little ones are napping and the oldest is in school. Other times, like when my husband will be home in an hour and my two month old is hungry and crying, the 18 month old is screaming because I won't let him climb on the baby gate, and the five year old is whining because I haven't put on the one show she's allotted, it sucks. Sometimes I'm really glad I don't have to deal with all the usual bullshit at my job, but damn. Sometimes it's hard to find time to pee, at least now while the littlest is so little.
Did I mention that breastfeeding sucks too? Well, sort of. It's great not paying to feed my child or sterilize bottles and wash them all the time (unless I pump and bottle feed, which I usually can't because of the toddler). Also, the milk shop is always open, which means the milk shop is open whether I need to use the bathroom, I'm in the shower, getting dressed, or getting groceries. For awhile, my son was going through a growth spurt that I swear lasted three weeks, meaning he was constantly attached to me. He was eating almost every hour around the clock. Obnoxious. I'd start to feel like I was ready to give up and then he'd take a two hour nap and just look so cute.
It's great how kids seem to know when to make you fall in love with them again. You reach this point where you just want to throw them out the window or drop them off with grandparents and then you drive away for a long time (don't let anyone lie to you, we all reach that point at least once in our child's lives), but then they smile at you or laugh or dance around and they just look so cute and melt your heart and you forget all about how frustrated you were a second ago.
I do wish I had the time to write more. If I did, I'd post more, but usually the littlest is hungry or the toddler is getting into everything he shouldn't. I'd love to record my thoughts, transcribe them and easily post them with the touch of a button, but even if there is a way to do it, I don't have the time to figure out how. I also wish it wasn't such a pain in the ass to go out and get a cup of coffee... the Dunkin they are building near me needs to open.
